This is the most important battle yet. Don't get me wrong I don't use the term battle lightly here as there is no other way of describing the night which is coming our way. Dublin is up against its rivals and long time nemeses, Southampton. The rivalry has intensified over the past few years. There are a few reasons for this which I can give you in very well organised bullet points.
- Southampton envy us being a capital city.
- Southampton envy our ability to read.
- They strongly believe the Irish sabotaged the Titanic after it left port in Southampton to make them look bad...
- They are angry our artists don't release more books of our drawing so they can trace and copy from.
- We haven't forgotten how they killed William Wallace in the film Braveheart.
- They still have our copy of Braveheart on video and won't give it back.
- Southampton still refute the fact we explained to them how Secret Wars works.
- We envy Jays hair and selection of T-Shirts (Jay is Team Southampton's Mascot)
- One of the Southampton team members is named after a Marine from the film Aliens and we take offence to using such coolness.
- Southampton openly practice Voodoo and have a living dead person on their team...just like Weekend at Bernie's.
- Southampton fear Irish women and have been quoted to say " They are so beautiful they blind our hearts".
Last but not least the most important reason for the bitter rivalry is because of the incident that happened between both Andy Kelly (Team Dublin) and Jay Hamdaoui (Southampton). For legal reasons I cannot go into details but I can disclose for promotional reasons that their rivalry began over a woman, possibly one of Jays women and Andy's irresistible charm and a condom and a stick. That is all I can say about that but this Saturday both of these men will be suspended in cages in the Shaw for their own protection and that of the people.
This is the decider. The big battle. If Dublin wins this Saturday it means we get on through to the next round but more importantly it means that we can stop Southampton messing up another Titanic.
We need all of your support as I'm sure they still have some supporters over here since the 1916 Rising. So get down to the Bernard Shaw this coming Saturday for 8 O clock. There will be awesome tunes outside from some special guest DJs and loads of drink promotions.
HELP MAKE DUBLIN THE NEW ARTISTIC CAPITAL OF THE UNIVERSE