Well it all began last year when Dan Lino Cutter Leonard and myself were working as rookie sheep herders. We worked only 2 fields away from each other and never realised we both had the same interest in sheep and art. So one very cold day, Andrew C.S. Kelly was driving past our pastures in his rented 93 Nissan Micra at a speed I wouldn't even want to tell you. Lets just say it was 'dawngerous'. Anyway he got word that Dan had left the art scene to pursue a more quiet restful life down the country away from all the hip kids with their wallet chains hanging from their pockets and their M beegee musical players. Just like any Steven Segal movie, Andy needed Dan to do one more job. A job big enough it would set him free and clear his name once and for all. Andy had connections and the Government papers were signed, all Dan had to do was say yes. As it happened this 'Yes' took a lot longer than Andrew expected and I overheard the two gentlemen 2 pastures away. " Fuck You Andy" whispered Dan. " New Shoes yeah" answered Andy. They became more intense the closer I got. As I peered through an old car door painted to resemble a bush I overheard the heated discussion. " I won't go back there" softly spoke Dan! " But you must old wise one" begged Andy. The conversation grew more intense and I feared the frail looking man children might come to blows so I did what anyone in my position would do. I dressed one of my sheep up as a beautiful woman and sent her out into the pasture where both Dan and Andy were exchanging snarls and growls. This seemed to instantly break the ice as both men started wolf whistling and slapping their knee's. I felt then It was safe to interact with them as they were now speaking my mind and were less angry.
"Some day for it", I says to them I says. " Ah sure" they replied in perfect harmony. We then looked at into the distance for what seemed an eternity.
That pretty much brings us up to speed. After that myself and Dan became good friends and left the pastures we once loved so dear. We travelled to cities near and far creating this new trendy radical magic they call 'ART'! Along the way we realised we were up against some stiff competition so a team was formed. Team Dublin. Originally I suggested the name 'Team Teamy Team' but this was rejected. Dan suggested we call ourselves 'The Skidmark Tinker Planks' but sadly also rejected. Andy really pushed for the team to be called "The Condom Sticks" but this didn't fly with the guys up top. So we rounded up a team. Frizelle, Redmonk, Cist, Grim, Pat Kenny, MC Sniffy, Steven Segal, Jay Z, & Cliff Richard. After having a few friendly battles and many a night out on the town we lost some of the best team players. First to go was MC Sniffy - His fame suffocated us and he had to go into hiding. Pat Kenny left his post on the Late Late so he was useless to us. Steven Segal joined the police force and that didn't look cool for us. Finally Jay Z and Cliff Richard seriously injured themselves trying to see who could eat a shopping trolley faster whilst swimming across the river Liffey.
So our team has done well so far. With the skilled motivational and organisational skills of the young Jedi Andy Kelly we have taken on Paris, Copenhagen, Barcelona, Southampton so far and here we are.
This is the most important stage yet. This is where we need all the support we can get. We need you. All of you. For you who are sick of Secret Wars and are sick of seeing it pop up in their inbox well hush up sort it out! We are way more interesting than watching a DVD at home on a Saturday night. To those who don't know anything about it CHECK IT OUT!!!! To those of you who have hired hit-men to kill us but failed every time...sickened but thanks for the support. And to all those who have been standing by us and following the league from the get go, Thank you. We wouldn't have gotten this far with out all your support.
So Now we are into the first leg of the Secret Wars quarter finals and we are up against London. Frizelle, who was christened Marion by her mother will step up with team captain and award winning spoon player DANLEO and myself. We will travel via aeroplane to London where we will draw like we have never drawn before on Saturday night the 21st of August.
So if you no of anyone in London who lives there or just in hiding please pass on this information in the form of capital font. GO TO SUPPORT DUBLIN IN THE QUARTER FINALS OF SECRET WARS AND HELP THEM WIN AGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Thank you.
Click HERE to go see all the details on Facebook. It takes place
NOW IN 2D