After keeping Sketch all week I am now going to retire my fragile man shell to a couch In front of a fire and a movie that may or may not have Bruce Willis In it. My week of make and do has gotten the better of me and slipped some sort of exhaustion pill into my drink. I blame the National Craft Gallery. They had the wild idea of inviting me down and allowing me to do with their space what i liked. Well I like to make and do so thats what I did from Monday to Friday. Spending cabin feverish hours In the gallery tucked behind the Design Center, drawing on the walls as if they were sundials. Watching the sun slowly leave the space and the night would creep in bring In the dark and the pressure on me to stop watching documentaries and get making. It was an invigorating experience nesting In behind the walls of the gallery working Into the deep hours of the night as everyone else were doing the wise thing and sleeping. I had little revelations as I worked that I may have to revise next week when I am less sleep deprived but I can confidently say that that body of work as quick as It was made and displayed In such an unconventional way was my favourite show I have done to date. It felt honest and right In every way and It came together the way It did because the whole motive of the show was to explore the process of making through drawing and that is exactly what happened I explored for the first time and found out exactly the way I work. It's strange as an artist and I am sure the same can apply to anyone In a creative field genre from the arts. You think you are constantly on some subtle and subconscious exploration of self discovery In some way, not the Jim Morrison journey but a way of practice to get better and find your own personal style that will be unique to you. That Is so hard to do today with constant influences being thrown at you without you even realising it. A video someone uploads, a profile picture that gets your attention, a great book you read or finding something that you thought was lost, It never ends and all of it well I think anyway affects your work In some regards. So I have had this inner fight going on for a long time and I thought I had It In the bag late last year until that thought was beat out of me literally on December 3rd. After dedicating so much of my time and work to building up a career and being stupid enough to work so closely with someone so unstable left me crippled and my work took the blunt of it, or the process to making my work did and If that process Is taken from me well then I am taken from me and I lost that for a long time. This Is why this show had huge meaning for me. It was my therapy. I had the walls as my sketchbook, this was great for the viewer so they could see where the work was generated from but also for me because unlike a sketch book, you can't turn the page over a not look back on what was done. It was all open and there for me to see every thought I had up until the very end long after they show was up and all the work was finished. For the first time In a long time I felt close to my work and felt I understood It more. I stepped back Into craft and thats where I belong, I like to make and thats what intend to do from now on. I will draw till my dying but I will come back as a bad ass zombie and still be making shit outta whatever remains I can find.
The show which was a big success has to come down tomorrow. Everyone expressed there sorrows It had to come down so early but there Is something I like about It being a 'Pop Up' show. It's very instant and direct and you have to catch It quick so to those who missed out down't worry there will be plenty more and to all who came and spent time In the space; thank you, I hope I was able to give ye some good feeling.
None of it would have happened If It wasn't for all at the National Crafts Gallery who were so reckless and invited me to do the residency. Crazy Mo Fo's! Leslie and Ann thank you, your kind words at the opening are still resonating with me and have only encouraged me to keep making.
There was a lot of work made In a week and It was only on display for a shorter amount of time so I will use the blog here to show you what I can from it. For now It's to the couch to watch some mindless shoot outs and classy shit acting, switch off and sleep and do it all again tomorrow.