Friday, April 27, 2012


Thinking back Its absurd the personal past that I share with Old Spice. As a young child around the age of  4 or 5 I broke into my neighbours house, the O'Connors, and found my way into their teenage sons bedroom, I think. Thinking back It might have been their daughters room but either way that morning In my 5th year of life I was determined I needed a shave there and then, and a dry one at that. I danced In the mirror making faces like I observed my Da would make each morning.  That long neck puckered lip expression almost head butting the mirror and the robotic whips of the razor into the foamy cream water sprinkled with hair dust. I was on a mission.  I had my first shave with a yellow bic razor and washed It down with a cold glass of HOLY FUCKING SCALDING SKIN CHRIST JUICE. Splashing lashings of old spice on my pale Edward Scissorhands like face just like my pops use to do. For anyone of you that know me this Is the reason my beard Is a massive facial casualty.
Old Spice was the first manly scent I wore long before my body would start its producing It's successful range of man odors. I would steal hand fulls of the stuff and rub It on my clothes as I learned years pervious that the face Is a terrible place to put it. This would back fire on me as girls In school would say I smelled like their Da. I had a whack of Fail off me most days In school unaware of how much of a Brut I was. Although I stood my ground and as I slowly matured I eventually gained the pubescent  courage of a mange ridden lion and confiscated an  Old Spice Deodorant pack from my Dads collection of rejected lazy Christmas gifts. This proved to be the an award winning success, the award being the girl friend I had who actually christened the scent "Micky In a Can", on reflection that sounds disturbing but It was testament to my Old Spice dedication. Years past & I haven't used any Old Spice In the past decade for a few reasons:

 1.My Da stopped getting It at Christmas 2. I met actually sea faring men and realised that I needed to
smell like ropes and clenched fists. 3. Girls after my long relationship thought I smelled like my Da.

So life found balance and I got Old Spice sober having It absent from my life for a long long time. Until this guys shows up at a party one night. Not at the actual party but someone on a laptop was all like " HEY HEY CHECK THIS OUT ITS FUUUCCCKKKINNNN CLLLAAASSSSS!
My beer dropped from my hand In slow motion, my eyes grew three times their original size and I dropped my other beer from the other hand In slow motion and shiveringly muttered..."D..D...D..DAD? "

On closer inspection I discovered that This man was clearly not my father but one would have been so easily misled by the nostalgic smell that imagined it's self into my brain. Who was this guy and why was he using my product whilst saying the word 'Ladies'. Things seemed fined and not too intimidating until "WHAT? He's on a motherfuckin boat..HUH? Where did that oyster with the tickets to that thing she loves come from HOLY SHIT ? Diamonds? Awwww whaaaaat?? A horse?? Really?? Come On?? "
My Old Spice days were truely numbered. Not only that but this man was so brash and shockingly handsome that he Marty Mcfly'd me going back to my own past and flexing on every Old Spice memory I had. Damn you Isaiah Mustafa, damn you. 
So as a way of showing my gratitude to Old Spice for years of false improvements and as a token of my envy and distrust for Issaiah Mustafa  I decided to make an Old Spice action figure and put It on display In Gallery 1988's MEMES show this coming week. 
I thought If the Old Spice Guy was an action figure what kind would he be. Without a second thought It was clear to me that he had to be like the Master Of The Universe toys. Exaggeratedly sculpted, has very little movements apart from lifting or turning and has tons of accessories. I decided I would make mine out of wood and make him as old school as possible as this MEME Is already considered as a classic. 
What excited me most about making this piece was making the toy box for it. I collect old 80s toys that I had as a kid and there was nothing quiet like the hand painted illustration on the old toy packages. They were amazing and still are to this day. Brutishly tacky and always depicted the figure inside as the most epic toy ever, which when opened looked nothing like the  illustration on the front, just like food from McDonalds but just like McDonalds you still love it! 
I wouldn't have been able to get the box made the way I did If it wasn't for one of the greatest dudes In the world my mate Paddy P -Time Dunne. He helped design the packaging and put It together for me cause he Is a true legend and a genius! Thanks Lad! Then theres the Classquatch who snuck into The Plus Print printers at night and printed this up for me on proper toy box card. What champions! 

The Old Spice-Guy action figure with move up and down gifts presentation action and Wild Horse will be for sale In Gallery 1988 when their show opens on the 4th of May. Please feel free to go play with him and all his charming accessories. 

Gallery1988 Melrose:

7020 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90038

Please drop me a note if your gonna use the images or reblog! THANK YOU! 

Thanks to Albert Hooi for the photography work! That guy....that guy!!!


Dustin myers said...

this looks awesome man. i cant wait to see it in real life! take care

Mick Minogue said...

Hey thanks Dustin, your gonna be at the show? Wish I could make it over. Take some pics for me of you with the piece n Ill throw them up! Cheers for the good love too plenty more work on the way so keep posted man! Enjoy the show!